Been a week I didn’t get in touch with internet, well except at office. But that’s only on my 1st day of intern, cos a freelancer take my ‘place’. =.=” A boring week at office. Having intern at a big agency doesn’t confirm that you will learn much from there. Guess it’s time for me to be more ‘ke po‘ there else am gonna sit at my department or walk and see see only without talk so much to people, and gain nothing except I know how is the people in the agency bla bla bla. Hopefully next week will be a better week. Oh no, my CTC haven start yet, am dying…. And somehow, am still relaxing although I keep think of how, what, bla bla bla…Next friday, 30th July is our graduation day. Yeay, a nine weeks of struggling, learning, growning up, bla bla bla is going to over. Gonna miss 95percent and my trainers and classmates and the routine of going there and back home late at night and felt tired and stress up and so on and so on. Yesterday was our mock up interview and I didn’t really perform well. Sigh.. It’s always like that, when you sit there, *stop using you, it’s I, you are not represent anyone, aren’t you* I will be thinking that “ok,you can do it, later will be like this like that” *imagine how the situation will look like* But when it’s my turn, suddenly I become a rock, very cold, no smile, very direct, very monotone, damn it!

When my boy’s turn is over, the trainers asked him whether he really prepared or not, and they was like ‘don’t tell me this is how you prepare well, I know you can do better and this is not your best, so better let me know that you are not.’ That’s what I get from them. Then I came up with a stupid answer that he was just prepared for a ‘mock-interview’. I mean, they know you can do it better, and they will be more disappointed if you said this was your best effort, the best you can do, while it looks like it’s not. Forgive me if my words made you felt bad. Told you am not good in talking, my words is not sweet, it hurts people alot. Guess I should just keep quiet and ignore things around me. That’s the easy way out. The other way, i should think first and censor whateva things before vomit it out. Well, I’ll take the second way since am not gonna be the quiet Kathie that is so ignorance with her surroundings and just live in her own world, got a lot of thoughts in her mind but scare to said it out, scare to be wrong. F with all those.. Going college soon, gonna F someone already.. He better be there today..