September 2006 archive
Last night my boy just told me to try puasa for 1 day when we are not that busy during this fasting month. Today without planning it, we are like puasa already, starting from 10sth, grab a bread and Dutchlady chocolate milk, no drink, no food until 4sth, finish the work for Kancil at college. =.=”It’s a damn tiring day which involve a lot of walking and patient. Yes, my patience is being tested! So many ‘kanasai’ things happened. Whatever la, it’s over already. Plong! Don’t wanna talk about it anymore. Let gone be by gone.
Lesson to learn, don’t be so cin cai to people, feel pity to them, and be so soft! Open eyes widely and not only use my heart to see someone, but also use my mind. Or else I will be dissapointed again. Two months to go to know the result. Deg deg deg…
Duh.. I am so confuse, bingung, bimbang. Should I fight or shouldn’t? Should I care or shouldn’t? This thought come across my mind for so many times until I and my boy decided to take action. There is a hope there, I tell myself. “When there is a will, there is a way”. On one side, I want to fight to get the ‘baby’ back. I don’t want to submit it as a cin cai work with the England. There is an idea there but now, it looks awful. I want to fight but there is a very little chance that our thought will be heard by Pat. It happened so many times already. But, I want to try although the chance is so small. But, will she care with our thought? I’m so tired. Argh.. I am so lalang now.
Fine, I lose in this battle, the battle that happen in my mind. Let me be her doll for the very last time. I appear in a siao po look in the tvc and this awful AE look with stupid england. Damn! And I let all those happen to me. I must be out of my mind already.
I got to continue do the cin cai work. Somehow now I see it as one of the college assignment instead of entry to win award. Fast fast finish, do whatever she like, and free. The hope is fading now.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Another long “ARGH!” after the last entry. This few days, eh no, supposingly this 4 weeks, have been tiring days – headache with the Kancil stuff (start smooth, get quarrel with Mr.P, stuck with ideas, and suddenly our ‘baby’ grown up when the deadline is so near already and that make us got to do so many extra work, sigh..), headache with the lecturers (got a not so pro lecturer to teach prof studies class and advertising lecturer who asked us to ‘borrow’ idea. Sigh..), headache with some of the classmates, headache with the college system, bla bla bla. In a short sentence, LUCT gives me a damn bad headache. =P Yesterday is apparently not a good day for me. No wind, no rain (read: bo hong bo ho – Hokkien ), suddenly this stupid Indo virus come to visit my laptop again! Yes, I kena Brontok again~! Oh no.. How do my laptop get infected? All happened when I get connected to the college’s wireless network connection. I realised it when I was about to show my work to the lecturer and the AVG scan tiok that Brontok. The D drive that I share kena. Duh.. Can’t believe it, so unsafe. I won’t use college wireless anymore. Last time I kena Brontok is on April and it’s Brontok.A. Now is Brontok.C. When my boy searched for the cleaner online, there is Brontok.J or sth like that already. Sooner or later it will go to Z then become AA – AZ (?) Thanks God everything is ok already. Pfiuh…When I was about to go back, that Mr.P get quarrel with the other guy who join the group discussion for Kancil and it happened in the staff room with so many people watching it. Er, free show, with ‘flying plate’ somemore. Wow.. If I was in that guy position, I think I would probably slap or throw the stuff to Mr.P and not on the floor. Ya, I know, am too emotional, got to control myself more. But I think he deserves that. =P He is just got no respect to other people, being so arrogant, righteous, action and words are so different, bla bla bla. Aiya, fine la, enough of talking about him. His nose or ears must be very itchy now. Got no idea how to make him realise about himself. He is flying too high now, got to pull him down and feel the pain in his ass.Let me continue to sleep and have a sweet dream. So many things to do on this weekend. Hm..P.S. Thanks Janet for your time and your words 
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! ARGHHHHH!! ARGHHHHH ARGHHHH!!I think I really really need anger management lessons. Just have some quarrel mouth with my lecturer (again!). I admit that part of it is my false, I did lie to her (white lie I guess =P). What I don’t like is that I talked to her gently and in a respect way while she reply me in a rude way and she even look at me with that kind of eyes each time I met her eyes. Damn! Just because I didn’t attend (there is an important thing behind this) her class twice and she has a bad image toward me? She is just so unfair, so tua se sim, nicer to guys than girls =.=”, judge someone from outside (I hate someone like this). Sigh..
There are just too much this kind of lecturer in college. I can hardly find a ‘normal’ one who is fair enough. Maybe can count with my fingers. Some of them are racism (chinese is nicer to chinese, malay is nicer to malay, and so on), some judge the students by their covers and once you did mistake or give them a bad image then it will stick there forever in their mind, and so on. Sigh.. Life is so unfair.
While the students, many of them are very kia su one, damn selfish, want to win and save themselves first. You wanna die, it’s your problem then. But when they need your help, aha, they will suddenly be damn nice to you. And some, talk without think first, and keep talk nonsense, no logic, keep hihihehe and just waste my time. Sigh.. Sometimes I’m afraid whether I’m part of them or not.
Another problem is, when you have professional studies class with a non advertising background lecturer who ask you to do advertising work, you will be damn headache. Idea can be mistaken with concept, and so on. Oh sigh.. Help me out of this crazy world!
It’s a week after the TVC shooting and we did another stupid thing which is a waste of time also. This time we were supposed to be paparazzi for the whole day. Same people who played in the tvc plus Chris. After spent almost whole day there, we gain zero back.This idea is a pending one and almost forgotten until last few days a new comer who is so passion (according to Pat) join us and when he knew it, he wanna did it. (Aiya, got passion also not like this one hor. Drag all of us into trouble) Then Pat kept asked all of us to help and here I am now. Sigh..
Now, we are like in a trap already. Fine, maybe not we, is I. Whatever she asked us to do, we have to do it although mostly is Mr.P and her ideas. Sigh.. Alright, it is I. I’m like trap in the middle of nowhere. It’s not my idea, I don’t like it, but I can’t refuse not to do it. Why? Simple reason, I’m giving her face as she is my ex lecturer and I don’t wanna let her dissapointed. In other words, I tak tega. So, it’s my fault for not using my right to say no. Argh.. Can’t forgive myself for being so tak berdaya. (someone, what is the english for this?)
Whateva la.. I’m looking forward for tomorrow graduation nite at 95%. It’s just like yesterday only when I had my graduation nite. Time flew so fast.
