Duh.. I am so confuse, bingung, bimbang. Should I fight or shouldn’t? Should I care or shouldn’t? This thought come across my mind for so many times until I and my boy decided to take action. There is a hope there, I tell myself. “When there is a will, there is a way”. On one side, I want to fight to get the ‘baby’ back. I don’t want to submit it as a cin cai work with the England. There is an idea there but now, it looks awful. I want to fight but there is a very little chance that our thought will be heard by Pat. It happened so many times already. But, I want to try although the chance is so small. But, will she care with our thought? I’m so tired. Argh.. I am so lalang now.

Fine, I lose in this battle, the battle that happen in my mind. Let me be her doll for the very last time. I appear in a siao po look in the tvc and this awful AE look with stupid england. Damn! And I let all those happen to me. I must be out of my mind already.

I got to continue do the cin cai work. Somehow now I see it as one of the college assignment instead of entry to win award. Fast fast finish, do whatever she like, and free. The hope is fading now.