So many thoughts

Sometimes the quantity of times can’t quarantee you anything. Four years of relationship will mean nothing without quality in it.

When you go deeper and step to a more serious level, you will see more challenges ahead, more principles to combine between two different personality, etc. This is the time when both party have to agree on that principles’ of life. One has to sacrifice.

Commitment is needed and everyone shows it in different ways. The way people shows love is different too.

When one party feels that the other doesn’t give as much as one does, we lost the balance.

Sometimes I can’t even differentiate it whether we are together because of love or because we get used to having each other in our life. That’s why when we are apart, we don’t get used to it.

When I am sick of all those problems, commitment is my pillar that keeps me going on with this relationship. I have my own way to express my commitment and my love. Almost 4 years, it’s not a short time, the ups and downs that we’ve been through, that’s what I think of whenever I drop.

We are, or rather I am, the victim of love… Love is sweet but it brings so much pain.

I’ve seen my horoscope at facebook since last week and now it seems to be true. I need to share, I need to speak out what I feel.

Buka Puasa Bersama @ office

Wuhu~! The “Buka puasa bersama” in the office + factory went smooth. Although there is some problems and chaotic before that, but it ended smoothly. Very tired, my legs and my arms for standing and bringing stuffs from here to there. No time to take pictures. One thing I realize, when it is an urgent time, no matter how heavy the stuffs are and how far the distance is, you will be able to bring those stuffs. The mind just thinking of going to the finishing line. It’s so true, when you have intention, the mechanism is no longer a problem.

My parcel - Unibis biscuit plus Pohon Pinang Marquisa

Anyway, I can say it is successful with more than half of the workers attended it. I heard they said it is better than last year, from the participants to the foods. It started from 5.45pm to 7.30pm. The adults get parcels (2 Marquisa and Unibis biscuits) and the rice package from Goyang Lidah. While the kids get parcel too with 7 snacks plus drink inside and a package of the beloved Grandpa fried chicken - KFC. Everyone’s happy.

My first and last Buka Puasa Bersama with them. A great experience. I need to get some sleep now.

No goals & dreams makes our life so empty

Nowadays I always feel sleepy at work. I sleep at 10.30pm (the latest time) and wake up at 6.30am everyday. Total 8 hours which supposed to be the standard sleeping time. Perhaps I am lack of Oxygen and need to bring a portable oxygen concentrator along. I notice this happens after I came back from the 10days break. The feeling of working is no longer the same. I was supposed to resign before the break which is a month ago, but due to some reasons, it was pending. Now I feel like I am just waiting for the time to come. I am physically in the office but my soul isn’t there.I’m not stress out with the work, but the other side, too relax. I’m so sick of the routine. It’s so weird because I didn’t feel so when I was studying at school. Back then at senior high school time, I had classes from 7.20am to 12.30pm, one hour lunch break and continued the class until 4pm or 5pm, went back home for tuition or studied myself. I can say 7am to 7pm I studied and studied, and the routine was from Monday to Saturday, for 2 years. At that time there was a lot of challenges from getting the highest mark in the class to getting the first rank in the class and so on. I have some goals to reach and when I reach it, I have that satisfaction feeling, recognition from teachers and friends, and sometimes I get reward from parents. But now, the work goes on very plain. Even if the design is approved, I get no reward or satisfaction. The products are sold for the low-end class, I think I only have 1% chance to see it in the market.

I know when I feel like this, it’s time to step out and open another chapter of life.

What change in 5 months time

I always count Monday as the 1st day of the week and Sunday is the last. While I read somewhere the week should be started from Sunday itself. Whatever it is, today is Thursday which means weekend is around the corner and it also marks the end of September.5 months in Medan, I can’t help myself but to compare it with KL, from the development, people, work, salary, environment, and so on. So, let’s see what has changed from me in this 5 months time. Physically I’m still the same, short hair, not tall and won’t getting tall I think, slim *ehem ehem*. I came back as a fresh graduate who was looking for designer’s job desperately. Now, I’m a designer in a printing&packaging company. It’s been 4 months. That’s my job in day time. In night time, I blog for myself and for pay post. A lot more agenda is waiting ahead and I am thinking of doing something more challenging and relaxing at the same time. Yes, I’m getting lazy to go Medan-KIM-Medan everyday, and I know I’ve been thinking and planning to change job since a month ago. No worry, I’ve decided and ready to step further~!

Apart from that, I was in a relationship, I am still in it and will be in it. Long Distance is not easy, man! Thanks God, It is Medan - KL and not Australia or US. I don’t know we will stay like this until when. Hopefully not too long and not for years. We are working hard to reach our dream.

I used to speak in multi languages back in KL, Hokkien with my boy and some friends, English/Mandarin/Malay with others. Now, I speak Hokkien all the time and Indonesia language sometimes. I’m afraid I will go back to the stage where I don’t feel ease to speak in English or Mandarin, that’s when I first came to KL.

After all, I’m fine and in the mood to work hard to reach my goal and our goal.

The trend of working in Singapore

Alright, so it seems that so many people around me is finally getting a job in Singapore or getting an interview or at the stage of planning to find a job there. They are my friends who told the good news themselves, or I knew it from the friendster’s updates, or I heard from my friend or they are my friends’ friend. They are either in creative industry or others. Congratulation for everyone who get a job there and good luck for those who are still looking for one.Now you see, Singapore is so small compare to Malaysia and Indonesia and yet so many Malaysian and Indonesian bombarding that country. Perhaps 5 years later,half of the Singaporean is a Malaysian or Indonesian back then? In simple words, they work, stay, apply PR and become the citizens. So many smart people go to that small country leaving the left-behind-country getting worse and worse. Sigh.. I don’t know whether to follow the trend or to stay.

KL vs Medan

Just these few days ago a friend of mine asked what were the differences between Medan and KL. For a moment I think and think, KL is the capital city of Malaysia which should make it above in almost everything compare to Medan, the 3rd largest city in Indonesia. Let’s see, KL has a bigger and wider road compare to the road here. It has so many fly overs. Oh, we have one too in Medan. There is traffic jam in KL, Medan lagi worse.

Then, KL has so many tall buildings, towers and apartments. Few years ago probably Medan will lose in this case. But now, our beloved town is building and climbing high to reach the status of Metropolitan city. So many tall buildings and apartments are in progress, JW. Mariott is one of those that has reached more than 25 floors.

Apart from that, I think the housing area is not much different. We have shop houses, double storey house, terrace house, bungalow, or gated house. From the transportation, KL has Rapid KL bus, we have the mini version here named ‘Sudako’ (not Sudoku game though) that has a moving bus station, you can ask it to stop at any road side you want as long as it’s in the route. Food? Nah.. Medan food is the best~! =P A paradise for food lovers.

After all, both city is about the same. Medan has what KL has, only lesser in quantity. I love both places and wish to be at two places in one time. If only Doraemon door really exist. Sigh.

4 people we need to find in our life

Life is the process of finding love; every person will need to find four people in their life.
First person is you,
Second person is the one you love most,
Third person is the one who love you most,
And the fourth is the one you spend the rest of your life.

In life, firstly you will meet with the one you love most, and learn how love feels.
Because you know how love feels, so you can find the person who loves you most.

When you have experienced the feeling of loving others and being loved, you will then know what it is you need most.
Then you will find the person who is most suitable for you, to be able to spend the rest of your life with.

Sadly, in real life, these three people are usually not the same person.

The one you love most doesn’t love you.
The one, who love you most, is never the one you love most.
And the one you spend your life with, is never the one you love most or the one who love you most.
He is just the person who happens to be at the right place at the right time.

Which person are you in other peoples life?
No person will purposely have a change at heart.
At the point in time when he loves you, he really loves you.
But when he doesn’t love you anymore, he really doesn’t love you anymore.
When he loves you, he cant pretend that he doesn’t.
Same goes, when he loves you no more, theres no way he can pretend he loves you.

When a person doesn’t love you and wants to leave you, you must ask yourself is you still love him,
If you also don’t love him anymore, do not keep him just to save your pride.
If you still love him, you should wish him happiness,
And hope that he will be with the one he loves most, not stop him from it.
If you stop him from finding true happiness with the one he loves,
it shows you already don’t love him, and if you don’t love him,
what rights do have to blame him for a change of heart?

Love is not possessive, just like the moon, you cant just take it down and put it in your basin,
but the moonlight still shines upon you.

In other words, when you love a person, you can use another method of possessing the person.
Let him become a permanent memory in your life.
If you really love a person, you must love him for what he is.

Love him for his good points, and the bad, you cant wish for him to become what you want him to be just because you love him.

If he cant change to become what you want him to be, you don’t love him anymore.

When you really love a person, you cant find a reason why you love him,
you only know that no matter when and where, good mood or bad mood,
you will wish to have this person be with you.

Real love is when two people can go through the toughest problems without asking for promises or listing criteria.

In a relationship, you have to put in effort and give in at times,
not always be on the receiving end.

Being away from each other is a type of test,
if the relationship isn’t strong, then you can only admit defeat?

When two people are in love,
They love to ask each other to swear, to make promises.
Why do they ask each other to swear and promise?
Because they don’t trust each other, they don’t trust their lover.
These swear and promises are useless, till the sky falls, till the ocean dry, my love for you will
never change!
We all know that the sky will never fall, the ocean will never dry, even if it does happen, are
we still alive by then?

Be careful when making promises,
Don’t make promises that you cant keep.

In relationship, what you say is one thing,
but what you do is another,

the one saying, doesn’t believe,
the one listening, also doesn’t believe.

Friends from year to year

Nine years ago, we were in Junior High school / SMP. We hanged out almost every week. Medan Mall, Thamrin Plaza were the place we like to go. We talked about school stuffs, teachers, our crush, who’s dating who, artists news esp. Westlife, etc.Six years ago, we were in Senior High School / SMU. We hanged out once in a month. We didn’t get bore going to Deli Plaza (with Menara & Sinar together) every week. We still talked about schools stuffs, the boyfriends or crushes, where to continue study, artists esp. F4 or others Asian boybands, etc. We took pictures at photo box.

Four years ago, we were in College and University. We seldom met up, once in a half year or a year, except those who were in the same uni. We talked through Msn, about college stuffs, assignments, lecturers, the boyfriends, places that we’ve been to with the pictures, etc. We camwhore with Digicam or camera phone, even in the toilet.

Now, we are all working. Mostly come back for good but we hardly meet up too. We bitch about our working stuffs, the salary, the colleagues, talk about who is the next to get married, etc. We still love taking pictures.

Henny - Mera - Kat - Minus Jan

A good friend of mine - Jan & Me

In 9 years time, so many things change. One thing never changes, we still take beca until now. Am the one who always kena pangku. Oh how I miss Karina. -__- Okay, back to mellow side. So many people comes and goes in my life, they are a few that stay. Thanks God for having them in my life.