Big Girls Don’t Cry (of farewell)
It’s the 3rd day of 2008. I should be in a happy mood welcoming the new year. But no, I’m cloudy, somewhat going to rain but I quickly suck the sucky tears back to the eyes. Unfortunately, what came out has came out, slowly but steady in the silence, and it dried so fast, ‘rain’ again and stop and again. 
What makes this farewell seems to be so hard for me, is that I have to let go of someone that has spent 24 hours with me for the past 10 days. He was the first person that I saw when I woke up, and the last person that I saw and talk to when I was going to sleep. What left now is his smell and sweetie memories in this heart.
What a life. When we are close to each other, we will be 24 hours together. But when we are apart, it will months of not seeing each other. I hate it for we can’t be like other I-called-it-normal-couple, stay in the same town where distance is not a problem, can see each other at least 1 hour a day, talk through phone until don’t know time, go paktor on weekend, and so on.
For the next few months I will only see and read his words on msn. This eyes can’t see his face not even touch it. This ears can’t hear his voice, not even hear him sings the customized-made-for-me song. This hand can’t hold his hand, not even hugging. When this soul is tired, I can’t rest in his warm arm and shoulder & vice versa.
Well, December is over and so is my holiday. It’s time to work my ass off, both offline and online, to smoothen the LDR (fly here fly there, need money) and to end it ASAP (married, need money).
