No, I’m not talking about boy friend but best friend.

There are friends for shopping time and have fun.
There are friends for chatting time and talking about latest issues.
There are friends for listening to my problems and be there for me any time, especially the hard time.
There are friends for…

However, friends for shopping time can’t be the one whom I’ll go to when I am having a hard time. And I can’t share my problems to friends-for-chatting-on-some-issues. It’s like, those on level 2 can’t do level 4 things, or the level that is higher than it.

So many types of friends for different conditions. A best friend is the hardest one to look for. I don’t need best friendS, without ‘s’ is fine for me. I need someone whom I can trust and talk about what I feel, the pain, the stress, without one judging me. Someone who can put herself in my shoes. I am going insane if I keep talking and fighting with my own self in my own mind.

After all the meet-up with friends from different schools for the past few weeks, I realized how shallow the friendship is. From the way we interact, the topics that we touched, how we responded, etc. One that I thought was my best friend, understand me and I understand her, is no longer the best friend. Time pass, people changes. Sometimes the changes could match, sometimes no. Only term life insurance stays.

Here I am, ranting that I have no best friend while I don’t even put an effort to make one. Well, I won’t die without one. But I’m dying in wanting one.