Legal and Official

Yay, the real BIG day that we have been waiting for is finally here! It’s been a long tiring troublesome journey to get this piece of paper. It involves changing religion, flying here and there, mailing via DHL, take 6 – 7 hours bus for 3 times, went through so many dead end road only to find the correct road, etc. Thanks to our parents for helping us throughout the process; by fetching us to the consulate office and all. I shall end my Oscar speech here before it gets longer.

Went to JPN (Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara) early morning 8am and waited for our turn. We must wear formal apparel, including our witnesses. No Hudson jeans and slipper are allowed. So here I am with my cheongsam which was intended to be wore on Chinese New Year and my boy in long sleeve shirt and suit. All simplified, I just tied up my hair and applied very light makeup.

Here is the door to the wedding room, where we officially tied the knot. Madam T, the Chinese lady officer who is in charge of marriage stuff, is having a Chinese New Year leave I suppose. The person who replaced her was so KNS. WTF cannot take picture in the wedding room cause it might disturb the process and only we and our 2 witnesses can be in the room? We went there few times and we always see bunch of people going in or coming our from the wedding room. Not just 4 people lo.

Then WTF she was so confident saying that we won’t be needed that original single-status-letter when filing the marriage certificate in Indonesia? Never heard of a back-up plan is it? I doubt she knows well about the procedure in Indonesia and simply give us some general assumption. Just like how Madam T told us that it is impossible Indonesia gov doesn’t allow inter religion marriage (Christian and Buddhist). But see what happened, it is really impossible lo. In the end we have to waste more time thanks to the assumption.

With our witnesses, my boy’s friend and girlfriend.

After the short simple oath and signing process, here’s our marriage certificate. If you are wondering about my citizenship, I’m still holding my Indonesia IC with tourist visa. We will take time in getting the long-term-social-visit-pass. Regarding Malaysia citizenship, we’ll see our luck in the future. Or we might be adventurous, find other better country and move there. Who knows.

Oh Yes! We’re Almost There

After months and months of long tiring full of headache process, finally we are coming to an end soon. Real soon. Although after this we’ll need to go through another level, it is still such a relief to know that we only need to wait for another 21 days before we can sign the paper and officially (plus legally, though only in the eyes of M’sia gov until we go back Indo and settle another level) become husband & wife. Pfiuh.

Getting this happy news really means a lot to both of us. It determines our next step, plan and life. Yes, it is dead serious. Not only about my visa but also my medical insurance. A month ago we just bought medical insurances for ourselves due to the reasonable insurance quote. But, I still can’t get it done because we don’t have marriage certificate from the government. We have nothing that can legally proved that I am his wife. Instead, I am just another foreigner in the eyes’ of M’sia gov. Sigh.

So.. well, tonight I sleep also can smile. *broken English mode on* One worry is being taken away.

Third Trip to Kuching

Our post-wedding-ceremony life isn’t anywhere near to relax and honeymoon at romantic places such as panama city beach condos, but hectic which involves going back forth Kuching and JPN to settle our marriage certificate, and working hard so that we can spend during the process of getting the certificate.

The first trip was on October last year, when I came to Sibu to prepare our wedding stuffs. We took the midnight bus and arrived Kuching on early morning. Went to Indonesia Consulate only to hear the staff saying that law has changed since September and they couldn’t release the particular letter for inter-religion marriage. We were asked to go back Indonesia and settled it there (but inter-religion marriage is an issue too back in my country).

The second trip was on December last year, not long after our actual-wedding-day. We took the midnight bus again and went to the consulate confidently. Good news, religion was no longer a problem (since I’ve converted). Bad news, one of my documents was lack of ONE stamp from some authority back in Medan!

Some more the same lady staff who we met on the 1st trip insisted that she had given the list-of-necessary-docs to us and that she remembered my boy’s face but not mine. Wtf? We quickly refreshed her memory that she never gave the list to us but shoo-ed us away to settle it in Indonesia.

In the end, I had my parent helping me in getting the necessary stamps on the particular doc and mail to me via DHL. Waited to get that doc for almost 3 weeks cause it was holiday season (Christmas & new year) and the authority was in the mood of want-to-work-yet-don’t-want-to-work. Ugh. And oh, that stamps on the particular docs didn’t come free-of-charge. It wasn’t cheap either. It’s all about MONEY when it comes to settle stuffs in Indonesia. -__-”

The third trip was on last Sunday after we got the DHL mail on Saturday. The Consulate was opened at 9am and the crowds already waited since 8am or so. It went oh-so-smooth. We shown our complete documents and the lady staff (not the one that we saw on previous two trips) typed in the necessary info. They have new (computer) system which seems to be quite effective – thumbs up to the gov.

We finished around 11am sth and had to wait for the Surat Keterangan – which cost us freaking RM70 just for a piece of paper with some authority signature (see above pic) – to be released on 3pm or 4pm. To kill the time, we walked to the nearest shop blocks under the hot sun. It was around 6 minutes walk but it felt like 6 hours due to the hot sunny weather.

We had brunch at Sugarbun. After filled in our stomach, we were bloody sleep already (cannot sleep well in the bus cause some passengers were snoring so badly) and wanting to go for body massage but ended up spending 2 hours at internet cafe. Time passed and we quickly walked back to the consulate. Once we got the letter, we were super duper relieved knowing that one puzzle is solved. After that, we bought ticket back home, depart on 9pm and arrived home at 3am. Super tiring.

On the next day (tuesday), we went to JPN (Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara) to settle the next step of the marriage registration. It was a long tiring day. Cut the story short, we had to wait for 14 days for don’t-know-what-documents-from-Putrajaya and another 21 days (For putting up the marriage info on the board. Local people can pay for RM100 to skip this waiting period but foreigner cannot. KNS!). After that only we can choose a date to sign the marriage certificate. I’m afraid it will only happen after Chinese New Year period. Sigh.

After that, we need to go back Medan to file for the marriage. Then, apply for 3 months social visa so I can stay in Malaysia longer while waiting for the spouse visa to be settled. It’s all about waiting (time) and money.

It’s not easy to achieve this togetherness.

We are almost there

Yayyyyyy!!!! So happy and exciting, partly because I have found the suitable travel medical insurance plan. But mostly because I just got the single-status-letter which was mailed from Indonesia via DHL on this Monday. The mailing fee IDR260.000 really worthy. Much thanks to my parent for settling all those documents for me despite their busy schedule.

With that said, my boy and I might be going to Kuching by bus tonight and get another document from Indonesia Embassy. We are definitely making a good progress in getting the marriage certificate.

Looking forward to…

This week is going to be a busy week with so many things to look forward to:

1. Our “I do” moment at church on this Saturday 28th Nov, 11.30 am. Our parents, close family and some friends will attend and witness us tying the knot in front of God.

2. Wedding banquet in Medan on this Sunday 29th Nov. For me, it is not just an eat-and-go-home moment but more of a reunion before I permanently move to Malaysia with my boy. There will be friends from primary to senior high school, friends from KL, and many more.

3. Actual day and wedding banquet in Sibu on next Sunday 6th Dec. I’ll be flying along with my parent, brother, grandma, Dad’s sister and husband on Friday 4th Dec.

4. The arrival of future in-laws and guests from KL (Funkers and my boy’s close friend) on this Friday and Saturday. Gonna be a tourist guide for the next few days.

5. Packing and packing, from clothes to shoes and many more. Luckily we are not moving to four-season-country or else I’ll have more stuffs to bring such as heated blanket and warm jackets. Pfiuh.

Hope everything goes well from the wedding ceremony to getting legal documents done.

And the big day is getting nearer

Okay, so it’s been 10 days since my last post. Whew.. Busy, that’s it. Lots to write here but just couldn’t find the time to really sit down and type.

Anyway, I have decided to take things slower (read: amount of work) and allow myself to have more space to breath and relax. I mean, almost every brides-to-be will pamper themselves by going to spa (read: luluran etc) every week or every month before the big day, and I still get myself busy with tight-deadline kinda work while my big day is just less than 1 month away.

I don’t want to have dark circles around my eyes and be a panda-look-alike-bride due to lack of sleep cause working on tight-deadline-job yadayada. Some more, friends who met me sure said you-look-so-skinny, face-so-dull, stress-life-huh, blablabla.

So, yes, I’m gonna take things slower. After all, BIG day is a once in a life time event! And, mine is coming in less than 3 weeks time. Here’s the exact timeline: 2 weeks until my church wedding (Oh yes, boyfriend and I will have one. More about this later on.) and wedding banquet in Medan, 3 weeks until the actual day and wedding banquet in Sibu.

The rocky path in getting marriage certificate

Objective:
A man (boyfriend) and a woman (me), who loves each other, wanting to get married and legalize the marriage. Bottomline, we want to get the marriage certificate.

Obstacles:
1. Different nationality. I am Indonesian and boyfriend is Malaysian.
2. Different religion. I was a Buddhist and boyfriend is a Christian. It was stated clearly in the documents, my IC, etc, we cannot lie to the officer.
3. Malaysia allows marriage between Buddhist-Christian, but Indonesian doesn’t allow that.

Process of getting marriage certificate:
1. Through the process, we found out that inter-religion marriage is not allowed in Indonesia. We did try to register in Malaysia first, but Indonesia Consulate insisted of not giving me the necessary statement letter hence we couldn’t move on to the next step.

2. Either one of us has to convert religion legally. Since I grow up with the mindset that a woman should follow her husband, I decided to change my religion on the paper, from my IC (Identity Card) to other documents.

3. But that is not as easy as telling the officer that I already a Christian and voila, they make changes on my IC. I have to show a proof or statement from the church. To get that statement, I have to go through the baptist path.

4. Baptist to me, is a very important thing. I could be a Buddhist who practice KongHuCu at the same time, but I never been ‘baptized in the temple’ (I don’t know what is the correct word in Buddhism) cause I’m not ready yet. After much consideration, I go for baptist path since it is the only way out. *appreciate if you not judging me and my decision*

5. Now, I am basically waiting for the baptism paper so that I can have my IC and other necessary documents changed.

6. Problem doesn’t stop here. Yesterday, I went to civil office (read: catatan sipil) only to find out that : to file the marriage in Indonesia, we need to have a marriage certificate from church or temple – depends on one’s religion. On another side, Malaysia doesn’t have that requirement – you can register your marriage in the civil office without the need to marry in church/temple first.

7. Next problem: to have our wedding done in a church, we need to have our baptist paper and need to be a member of the church. So, I am waiting for my baptist paper but boyfriend doesn’t have one. He, who has been staying in KL for more than 6 years, is not a member of any churches in his hometown too.

8. We have thought of the solution and will have an extremely simple kind of wedding church in Medan. But everything is yet to be confirmed. Hopefully it will go well.

9. Through the process in boyfriend’s hometown few weeks ago, we found someone who claimed to be capable of obtaining the marriage certificate in both countries – Malaysia and Indonesia, at the fee of RM10,000. Boyfriend and I were so frustrated and tired with the process already, it did come across our mind to just throw that sum of money and have everything settle by that person, so that we can focus on our work. But, our parents woke us up that it is better to settle it ourselves, although it takes time. Oh well, it’s RM10,000 and not RM1,000. Forget it.

I just have one thing to rant. Bear in mind, this rant comes from someone who has a very little knowledge about Christian and church related stuff. You see, I can somewhat understand the must-have-baptist-paper part, but I can’t understand why someone have to be a member of a church first then only can have a wedding church there? It sounds silly and unfair. Much like: you can’t enter the VIP lounge in the airport because you don’t have member card.

IMHO, Church is just a media of the religion – Christian. We don’t suppose to belong to a particular church but the religion. I know Christian is divided into a few – Methodist, Protestant, Catholic, Charismatic, and many more. I can accept it if the reason is because they don’t want a Protestant to marry in a Catholic church, for example. But it is super ridiculous if they don’t allow a Protestant to marry in a Protestant church just because he/she is not a member of the church!

Be in my shoes to understand where does all this frustrations come from.

Put aside all those frustrations and troubles, cause I just knew a super good news! Since last year (if I not mistaken), Indonesians can link our Paypal account and our local Bank accounts, which means we can withdraw the money directly into our Bank accounts. While Malaysia didn’t have that feature yet. They need to transfer into credit card or debit card of particular Banks.

But not anymore! Cause Paypal has add in the new feature : Withdraw funds from Malaysia PayPal account to your local bank account. Withdrawal for more than RM400 is FREE of charge! There goes the time of withdrawing to credit/debit card, being charged RM5 for every withdrawal, and USD500 as maximum withdrawal amount per day. Hooray for the improvement! As if they know that I will be migrating to Malaysia soon that they make the withdrawal process easier.