We hide when we don’t want to face something. Hiding is said to be a coward act. But heck, I wish I can hide at the mean time. I don’t want to meet people that I know. I don’t want to hear them asking the same questions; How are you, what is your job now, freelance ah? you don’t plan to look for a job meh? Haven’t found job ah? etc. I don’t want to give the same answers over and over again. It is extremely annoying and stressing me.

I am in a changing phase, a temporary situation, I ain’t settle down yet. And they keep on asking about this about that, never ending questions, every time I saw them. So what if I am employed or unemployed? Does knowing the fact makes any different to them or their life?If they say, it is because they CARE, ptui. Nah ..l.. I can differentiate what is care and what is being busybody. Only a few is sincere. The rest is pat poh-s who don’t deserve to be called FRIEND.

I think people ask because they wanna compare whose life is better than whose. Negative perspective, but whatever. I’ll off from this town next week. Say good bye to those pat poh. I’m continuing my life, knowing what I want and what to do, without the need to ‘present’ my plan to those pat poh-s. If they are so free, they should spend more time reading the term insurance one by one.

So fast Chinese New Year is coming to the end. Chinese New Year this time is different from last last years for me. Angpows came to my hand without me going to the relatives’ house and greet them. Yes, no bai-jia, no cookies, no talk cock talk with the relatives.

We normally do that on the first few days of Chinese New Year. Because public holiday is from Sa Cap Meh / CNY eve to Che Sa / 3rd day of CNY. After that, everyone goes back to the routine and wait until weekend comes to visit relatives and friends.

I don’t know why but I feel that the Chinese New Year feeling or aura is faded from year to year. I don’t see people comes to other people house anymore. Ok, not anymore, but it’s getting lessen. I think it’s no point to buy or bake cookies ourselves if it will end up in our own stomach and not the visitors.

The historical City, Malacca

Some people even prefer to go overseas than stay in Medan, with the reason: there is more of Chinese New Year mood and celebration overseas. Well, we do that this year. We ‘escaped’ to Malacca and KL from Sa Cap Meh (CNY Eve) until Che Go (5th day of CNY). The flight was almost full house or maybe it was. I saw my friend’s parents and mum saw hers.

What I can say is, yes I did get the Chinese New Year feeling because most of the Chinese shops and restaurants were closed! -___-” First time ever I saw Sungei Wang was so quiet and at least half of the shops (ladies clothes, gents clothes, shoes, accessories, baby clothes, etc) were closed. It doesn’t happen on Hari Raya or Xmas or New Year but on Chinese New Year. Duh..

Anyway, Happy Cap Go Meh~! Enough of angpows and slacking around. Time to plan and make more bucks. More than what I can do now. t

It is hard to describe the feeling and put it into words. Somehow I am looking forward to the next week flight, but deep down inside my heart I feel sorry and guilty. It is never easy to deal with distance. Lagi not easy to be the sausage / meat in the middle of the burger.

I hate when I have to choose. I hate when I have to prioritize this one over that one. I love them. Why can’t I make them happy and satisfy with my choice?

One want me to choose this, while the other one want me to choose that. I am trapped in the middle until I find a win – win solution that can satisfy both party, and me too. Before that day comes, I can’t live my life happily, knowing that I’ve disappointed one party. Having a pop up tv won’t make me feel better too.

Oh, I’m not practicing two timing. I’m talking about two party that I love so much; who else if not the parents and the boyfriend. Sigh.

The girls has their belated birthday yesterday at Ria Restaurant. I almost banged my head to the wall while thinking of the presents for the 4 of them. Is there something that can be share among the 4 of them? Or should I give one for each of them, but what? A home gyms? Bleh..

The solution for that is, CAKE~! Simple eh? Hehe. Problem came when I pick the candles, the number 2 and 3. Well, they are 23 years old according to the Chinese calendar. Duh.. I feel old now. One of the friends ‘complained’ and she preferred to be FOREVER 21. -___-” I get you, girl. But fcuk with the numbers, as long we feel young inside.

Anyway, there were 18 or 19 people came; some brought their partner along. I think we took picture more than eating. Well, we have to keep it as a memory, we don’t know when will we gather again like this.

I had finished Desperate Housewives Season 1 to 3 few weeks ago. But I missed out second half of the Season 2, because the 3rd DVD’s content is the same with the 2nd DVD’s which is the first half of Season 2. -___-” How could they burn it wrongly..

Speaking about the housewives, I think I will most likely have the life of Lynette Scavo (minus the having cancer part and the problematic mum) which is a nightmare for me and I want to avoid that kind of life so much. Not all of her life, part of.

You see, she used to be a career woman before turn into a full time housewife. Five children; twins (boys), a boy, an infant and a stepdaughter. Their ages’ difference is like ladder step. Extremely active and naughty kids. Have to clean up every of their act ( the toys, the diaper, the naughtiness towards the classmates, etc ). Yell at them. Handling housework and kids all by herself. So busy, she doesn’t even need weight loss pills to lose weight after giving birth. Have the smell of urine and puke of the baby while she is about to get laid with the husband. Oh my.. This is a disaster!

Another nightmare, when she came back to the working life (the advertising world!) and the husband became full time house-husband. Go to work early morning, see the kids for a while. Reach home late night. Home is in a mess, a total mess and dirtiness. Miss out the moment of the kids. Whew!

The part when she said, “I always tell him I want him to have what he wants. No. I want him to have what he wants as long as it’s what I want. I’m a bitch.” hit me. I mean, like her, I want the boyfriend to reach and fulfill his dream and passion. But when he told me his plans and I didn’t like or want it, I poured a tank of cold water to him. I am bad for keep on thinking of the negative side; it can’t work because of this and this. Well, bitches exist.

Sometimes, seeing Lynette Scavo is like seeing myself. I mean, the thinking and how she deals with life and people. It looks like she is part of melancholic and choleric.

Picture taken from Scavo Fanlisting.

Anyway, the nightmare turn to a sweet dream, when she and her husband opened a Pizza restaurant. It is my dream to run a business together with the boyfriend. Helping and supporting each other to build our own tycoon.

Hah! Can’t believe how a drama could make me think so much. So much more that I prefer to keep some in my mind.